Don't you just hate how some people can make something really simple so complicated that sometimes you wonder why you even bother in the first place??? Cause that's Saskia does with relationships, we've started hanging out a lot again and we've hooked up (kissed) a few times but for some reason she says that she has to be more sure of how she feels about me before we start a proper relationship. Also, she wants to figure out what she wants to do with herself this year (mainly whether or not she'll start doing drugs (mostly weed)) even though when we first started dating she made me quit because she hated drugs then. And she says that she has some kind of issues that she wants to work out with herself and she's not yet comfortable talking about them with me yet. I have no idea what she means by this but it seems pretty fucked up to me really. For the past two years I haven't been able to have proper relationships with anyone because of my drug use but now that I can the girl I want to have one with wants to start doing drugs and I know that if she starts doing them then I will again too, which will fuck up any chance of us having a proper relationship. I have no idea why I'm putting all of this on the internet for potentially dangerous maybe rapist people to read but for some reason I have so...yeah.